


banjo boi

by jessng



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: Other, i have no explanations except that this spawned from the lotf discord server, jack plays the banjo, this is a shitpost don't read it, uhhhh, yeah - Freeform, yes there is a discord server
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 02:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14095026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessng/pseuds/jessng
Summary: Maurice challenges Jack to a banjo duel. A shitpost ensues.





	banjo boi

**Author's Note:**

> i swear i'm not the only one in on this

Jack Merridew, as a matter of fact, is the best everything and the ruler of everyone. This, consequently, means that no one is allowed to be better than him at anything ever. Jack Merridew can sing C sharp, that quality alone makes him eligible for every leadership role present, and if someone sings a higher note, he will practice that fucking pterodactyl screech until no one,  _absolutely no one_ reaches a higher pitch than he does.

This, brings us to our current predicament, that Maurice, yes, that fucking asshat, has challenged the great, the virtuous Jack Merridew to a banjo duel.

Normally, Jack does not (gracefully) stick his foot into the deep waters of country music, however, by daring to challenge him to a duel of the banjo, Maurice has, by all means, questioned his absolute leadership of this land. This is, therefore, unforgivable, and Jack, being the great man he is, accepts the challenge.

The day of the duel comes just as many others, though to Jack, it is a day of great importance. He prepares for himself the best of banjos, with the best set of strings, tuned to perfection. There is no way he can fuck this up. If he does, shame goes to the renowned name of Merridew.

Their arena has been chosen by his challenger, which has been announced three days prior to be the carport of Maurice's abode. It looks of the ordinary despite that Jack has graced it with his presence numerous times, but that is a matter of no importance, as for now, Jack is a man on a mission. 

Maurice greets him head on, and it seems that there are Ralph and Simon in tow as well, carrying recording equipment. Jack sees that it is a gesture of admiration, as, obviously, they will wish to record his moment of victory against the traitor of his rules. Despite that Ralph's face looks a little more condescending that Jack prefers, he lets that slip pass.

Maurice opens fire with a few notes. Jack finds it pitiful that his opponent's banjo is not even in tune yet. He fires back with a few notes of his own. They approach each other with deliberate slowness, careful with each of their steps and mindful of their positions. They are playing chords now. Jack can hear the triumphant blaring of his own banjo and the pathetic squeaks of Maurice's. He is sure now, victory is his. 

And so, as they come face to face, banjo to banjo, Jack breaks out into a solo routine. It is one he has been secretly practicing for so long, has perfected and memorized by heart. The routine is, in fact, his heart and soul, the melody runs through his veins and now that it has been unleashed, Jack cannot stop—

"Oh my God." Someone exclaims from afar. Jack turns to look, still too invested in his performance to stop.

And no. _No! It can't be!_

"Roger!" 

Standing away from the scene is his ~~minion~~ best friend Roger. Jack watches in horror at the emotions unfurl on Roger's face, from bafflement to realization, to bitter betrayal. How can this happen to him? They lock eyes, grays on pale blues. Jack's stomach drops at the horror on Roger's face, though he just cannot stop strumming. His performance is reaching its climax, he cannot abandon it yet. But Roger... Roger hates country music.

"How could you do this to me, Jack Merridew?" They all realize the sound of heartbreak, of utter treachery and of a shattered friendship. Roger's eyes, now brim with tears, still cannot leave the frame of Jack's face. He cannot bear to look down at Jack's hands, at the fingers that still fervently strum the cursed instrument. "You know I hate the banjo!"

"No, Roger! I can explain!" Jack cannot stop even though he has long gone past the climax of his routine. His hands compel him to begin the next song, and the next, and the next. The sound of his banjo reverberates through the garage, drowning it like waves of cattle and cowboys, as Maurice has ceased playing. Jack has won, but at what cost? The sounds, they are too much. "It's not what you think, Roger!" He calls, but Roger has already started running, hands covering his ears, eyes completely shut.

"A-All this time, Jack! All this time!" Roger cries, "you were the banjo player!" His eyes are full of terror once he opens them. "That's your true form! That's why I keep hearing it! The banjo! it haunts my dreams— It haunts my fucking dreams, Jack!"

Jack sprints after Roger, the chord strummings have slowly progressed into a fingerstyle routine completely foreign to Jack. This is... This is _the banjo solo from Cotton Eyed Joe!_ Why is he able to play this? Has he finally transcended?

"Get away from me, Jack Merridew! I can't— I can't trust you anymore!" Roger runs faster as he pulls out his phone, dials, and sobs over the phone. Jack is only a few steps behind, so close yet so far, as his hands will not leave the banjo long enough for him to grab his friend and explain. 

"Roger, please!"

"We're no longer friends, Jack! I hope you're happy with your banjo!" 

"No, wait, Roger!"

Maurice, Ralph, and Simon can only stand by and watch as the beautiful friendship burns out and crumbles into ashes. 

There is the sound of police siren in the distance, and yet, Jack cannot stop playing. He halts completely in his steps, can now only focus on his banjo. He is only one song away from morphing into his purest form. But before Jack can begin his next routine, the banjo is forcefully ripped out of his hands. The police leads Jack to their car, fingers still trembling for the strings of his instrument. Roger can only watch, tearful, as his friend is arrested, along with Maurice, who has been identified to be the culprit of this banjo disturbance. 

In the end, and they can only hope that it is the end, Jack and Maurice serve four years in jail for. Roger is traumatized, but the truth has come out now. Questions remain of whether or not there is something more to Jack than what meets the eye. Is Jack guilty of more than the banjo? Is he secretly the writer of Cotton Eyed Joe?

The answer may remain _unsolved_.

So anyway Ralph and Simon upload the banjo duel video on youtube (under the title Merridew and the Banjo Crew) and from then on Jack is forever know to the world as banjo boi.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> uh so disclaimer i am in no way dissing the banjo, it is a wonderful instrument, as all instruments are, and it is deserving of everyone's respect   
> just thought i'd put that out there lmao


End file.
